Thank you for the new year/holiday wishes everyone.

Unfortunately my depression is extremely bad at the moment, and I'm realizing more and more my environment is not helping things. Almost every person I'm in contact with offline is either an alcoholic or has a drinking problem among other similarly bad things. I'm essentially watching people slowly killing themselves.

I honestly feel like the only person I know who can have a drink once and a while and be like, okay, I'm good (and even that has become unappealing to me now because of this) without this need to get drunk. I realize it can be a sickness, I'm not trying to trivialize that, but there has to be a point where education and just common sense kicks in and tells you hey, your liver is screaming, your body is literally making you vomit to get rid of poison and you're kind of going to die if you don't stop. Even if that means admitting it's gotten to a point beyond your control and you need outside help; there's no shame in that, but denial seems to go hand in hand with it.

I'm glad I haven't picked up these horrible habits, but having everyone around you effected by it seems just as bad in its own way, and I'm finding it harder and harder to deal with. Sleep is my escape and has become my life lately, like I'm subconsciously trying to get away from it all. I feel like I'm reaching my limit.

The one silver lining is my partner has made it their new years resolution to quit smoking. I'm going to try and make that and helping them my focus point for now.